


I Have Missed You

by ainagren



Category: Poldark (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:38:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12430059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ainagren/pseuds/ainagren
Summary: Dwight wakes up at night in his cottage when Caroline is coming back from London, efter their break-up. Originally written for the Carolight prompt week theme "I miss you".





	I Have Missed You

Dwight closed the book and sighed. It had grown dark outside the windows, and the candle was almost out. In the fire place, the logs had turned to black ashes with just a lingering glow. After a long day’s work, and a late night’s studying, he could no longer postpone going to bed, although he wanted to. 

He pulled his hands through his hair. It was time to go up to bed, he really had to. The work and the studying had helped him to kill a few more hours, but as soon as the book was closed, his anguish attacked him with new force. 

Since Caroline had gone back to London, and since he had received all his letters back with her short and cold note, he had had trouble sleeping. Too many nights had been spent twisting and turning in his bed, his head full of remorse and self accusations, going over again and again the details of that dreadful night of the planned and failed elopement. How could he have left her waiting in vain in the carriage? When Demelza had told him to go to Caroline, why hadn’t he? Why had he put the needs of his friend before those of his future wife? Yet, he knew that he would have made it in time, had he not been caught by the guards. And how could he have foreseen their coming?

He rose from the bench, lifted the candle and trotted with heavy steps up the stairs to his humble bed chamber, furnished with nothing more than his bed, a small bedside table and a chair. And a few piles of books on the floor. He put the candle holder on the table, quickly got out of his breeches, folded them neatly and put them on the chair, as he always did, so that he would be able to put them on in a haste if there was a midnight call for his help. The shirt he left on, to keep warm. With another heavy sigh, he got into bed and pulled the blanket up under his chin. 

After fighting his thoughts for what seemed like at least an hour, he slowly started to drift off, when suddenly there was some heavy banging on the door, that woke him up with a start. Still half asleep, he called out:

“I’m coming!”

He jumped out of bed and pulled his breeches on, already halfway down the stairs. There was an emergency, obviously, and he grabbed his doctor’s bag on his way to the door. 

But as he flung it open, he was startled again, because out there in the darkness, in the pouring rain, there she was – Caroline! She gave him a quick look, then hurried past him through the door, holding the brim of her hat with one hand and her skirt with the other. Dwight stared at her, then quickly shut the door again. She was dripping wet, wearing that same maroon outfit that she had worn on the day of the elopement. 

Dwight winked, his heart beating wildly, and swallowed. 

“Caroline”, he started, “what are you doing here? And at this hour – is something the matter? What has happened?”

The room was dark, and while he was talking, he walked over to the table, picked up a candle and turned towards the hearth where he lit it on the last faintly red coals. Caroline took off her hat, shook some rain of of it, and put it on a chair. Then she looked him in the eyes, and Dwight felt a jolt of pain and yearning in his heart. She looked so very serious. 

“No, Dwight”, she said, “nothing has happened. Nothing is wrong. Only, I had to see you. I couldn’t bear it any longer!” 

At these words she sobbed, and rushed the few steps up to him, threw her arms around him and leaned her head against his shoulder. 

“Oh, Caroline”, he sighed, almost out of breath from his overwhelming emotions. “Is it true? Have you forgiven me?”

He put his arms around her and sunk his nose into her hair, breathing in her sweet scent. She sobbed a few times before she lifted her face t him. 

“Yes, my love”, she said, “of course I have forgiven you! I love you! These past months have been the worst in my whole life!”

“Oh, my love!” he exclaimed. “I am so, so sorry for all the pain I have caused you! Had I ever imagined that things would turn out the way they did, I would have gone to you directly, I wouldn’t have cared about Ross and his dealings with the law. I love you so deeply!”

He pulled her hair back with his hands, and kissed her. It was a sweet and soft kiss, and he had to restrain himself not to overwhelm her. Through the sleeves of his thin shirt he could feel the fabric of her dress, and he realised how wet it was.

”My love”, he said, “I cant believe you came here now, in the middle of the night and the rain! You will catch your death! How did you even get here? We must make sure you get to Killewarren at once.”

She lifted her face towards him and smiled.

“I cant go there now! And I don’t want to. Can’t I stay here?”

He looked her in the eyes, and kept caressing her hair and her cheek. His lovely, headstrong Caroline, just as always. Just as careless about society’s conventions. 

“Alright, then”, he said. “You can borrow my bed tonight, and I’ll sleep down here. But you have to be off early in the morning, before anyone wakes up and sees you coming out from my cottage.”

“I promise”, she said.

He kissed her again.

“I can’t believe you’re actually back”, he said, his voice bursting with wonder and delight. “I have dreamt about this so many times, and now its really happening! Thank you! Thank you for coming back to me!” 

“I will never leave you again”, she said.

He took her by the hand, the candle in his other hand, and led her through the dusky room to the stairs. She followed half a step behind him, the wood of the stair giving slight creaking sounds from their weight. 

The full moon was shining in through the window in the bed chamber, casting a faint light over the stone walls. Dwight put the candle on the bedside table, and the glow was reflected in Carolines face, sending flickering shadows to the corners. 

“I cant believe you’re actually here”, he whispered again.

“But I am”, she said, and put her arms around his neck.

She leaned forward and kissed him, the same soft and tender kiss as before, but he couldn’t help it, he wanted more, he wanted it deeper. With utmost care he slowly lifted his hand to her neck, and let it glide down her collar line. She moved her head a little to let him come closer, and he could hear a faint sigh of pleasure from her lips. 

As his fingers reached the middle of her décolletage, he stopped, just letting it rest there, but the upper button of her jacket suddenly opened. His finger tip was stinging from the touch of her skin, as were she made of fire, and resting his lips against her temple he let it fall down to the next button. It took only a little wriggling to undo the second button as easily as the first one. His head was spinning. 

Slowly, he moved on to the next button, and the next, all the way feeling her soft skin beneath his finger tip, until l they were all undone. Carolines gaze was open wide, her lips a little separated. They were both breathing slowly and deeply. Dwight leaned forward and kissed her again, whilst letting his hand find its way in under her jacket, onto her bare skin underneath it. She wasn’t wearing any stays. 

Gently, he moved his hand upwards, searching for his goal, and finally he reached it. His hand closed around her breast, so soft, so perfect, and he caressed it devoutly, feeling her heart beating under the palm of his hand. He moved both his hands up her sides to her shoulders, and as he let his hands follow her arms, the jacket fell off her.

The moon light through the window was reflected in her skin, giving it a luster of pearls. They kissed again, and she tugged his shirt and helped him take it off. Pressing her against his naked torso, he let his hands glide up her arms, and down her back, almost going wild with want to touch every inch of her body.

Then he let his hands rest in the small of her back, just above the waistband of her skirt. There was a hook right there, too, and as he put his finger on it, it opened up. As he caressed her back, suddenly one more hook opened, and he felt a surge of irresistible lust. Biting his jaw, one by one he let his fingers find the hooks and undo them, until suddenly with a thump the skirt and petticoat fell off her onto the floor. She wore no crinoline, and no knickers. Only her stockings, that went up half her thigh, and then – nothing. 

He looked at her, awed by her beauty, hardly knowing if he would dare to touch her. He kissed her again, pressing her body hard again as his own, feeling her shivering. 

“Caroline, my love”, he whispered, “you are trembling. Are you cold?”

He looked at her, her dark eyes fixed on him full of passion.

“Maybe a little”, she whispered back with a smile.

“Here, please”, he said hurriedly and moved her towards the bed, “get in under the blankets. We will get you warm, I promise.” 

She smiled, kissed him, and turned around towards the bed.

Dwight untangled himself from his breeches as fast as he could, folded them neatly as always, and put them on the chair. Then he dove into bed, his body shaking with excitement. 

“Caroline, oh, my lovely Caroline”, he whispered and reached out his arm for her.

But all he felt was the bottom sheet on his bed, and the heap of untidy blankets.

“Caroline?” he called with a louder voice. “Where did you go? Did you fall out of the bed?”

He sat up, looking around him in the room. Where was she gone to?

The room was all dark, now. No candle was burning on the table beside the bed, no full moon was shining in through the window, and the curtains were closed. Puzzled and confused, he put his feet on the floor again, remaining sitting on the edge of the bed. The floor was cold, and there were no clothes lying here. Slowly, like a bubble rising towards the surface, he got to himself. He clasped his arms, still in his shirt, and then he put his face in his hands and sobbed desperately.

“Caroline”, he whispered once more.

But she wasn’t there. She never had been. She never would be.


End file.
